Big 100

I've reached 100. Not in years stupid, I'm much older than that, but immortal, so what's the difference hey? No, 100 pages of my graphic novel has been drawn and I'm looking hot, except the bit where I turn into a goat, not so sure about that. I've had words let me tell you. It's going to be a few pages longer, maybe 120, and should be finished by Greedmas. Not that I celebrate it - apart from the food and the receiving presents parts.

So, here's another page. This is the bit where I give the vicar a fright with my birthmark. Suzy had seen it before, but thought it was a bunch of flowers. What a dumbass!

It was my birthday last month. Not a card, not a present, not a phone call. Sigh... The 7th of September. Mark the date in your diary next year or I make a date for you with my Daddy. A very long date. Kapish?

I despise you and leave you with a story from my anals. When a consignment of my greetings cards with invoice number 666 was sent to a particular shop a couple of years ago, the lucky recipient was awarded with an original drawing of my handsome self. The weeks passed and no acknowledgement was forthcoming. This was looked into. The lady in question was thankful for the present, but not the fact that her computer was stolen from the shop on the same day and thought it might be connected. You see, I have powers at my disposal. Cackle.

I meant to update this earlier, but I’ve been far too busy eating, sleeping, eating, sleeping… Scotland has been warming up too, so I’ve been busy outside too - catching mice and birds, sleeping, catching mice and birds, sleeping…

42 pages of my graphic novel have been completed, out of roughly 100. Here’s another page from it, where our hero (ie me) meets God Dog for the first time. Ssss. I’ve read all the pages that have been drawn so far and I’m very disappointed in the fact that occasionally the dog has been getting the upper hand! In real life things would be different of course. I know there has to be a plot and it would be boring if I kicked his ass all the time, but I hate to see myself getting a pummelling.

Some stupid humans have been requesting catalogues of my greetings cards. All of which can be found at www.devil-cat.com. There are even some non-cat jokes about stupid humans, which aren’t funny at all. Anyway, some of the humans have called it a CATalogue. They think they’re so witty. Not. Don’t they know that I make the jokes around here? If you would like a catalogue and not a CATalogue, then you can email zoz261@yahoo.com. The minimum is only 10 cards and they cost £1 each + £2 postage. They should be much more expensive. They are of course the perfect gift for cat lovers, but not, I repeat NOT the PURRfect gift…

Hell-o

Ignore the title "Suzy and Sooty". That's what my stupid human slave calls me... Because I'm black... Imaginative huh? There's another blog called http://devilcat.blogspot.com/ and another with a hyphen http://devil-cat.blogspot.com/. They’re not even written by cats! They’re by stupid girls who have each written one post back in 2004 and 2006. One of them said she had seen other people’s blogs and wanted one. That’s it. She didn’t write anything else. She’s even lazier than me. I wonder what her lap’s like… She’s screwed up the name for me on a whim and then forgotten all about it. Humans… I ask you. So that’s how it gets to be lumbered with the stupid name.

Anyway. I’m going to star in my own graphic novel. About bloody time. So far it’s about a third of the way completed and should be finished by the end of the year. It’s all about me doing battle with a stupid dog. As if the dog stands a chance? Dogs… I ask you. The above page is a sneak preview.

If I can be bothered I will update this blog every few days. Wait a minute. Am I being paid for this? Meantime (my favourite time) you can see cartoons of my escapades at www.devil-cat.com.

I leave you with this email, which was sent shortly after work had commenced on the novel and features a vicar (spit) with a cross. Spooky.

Hello,

I was searching online to find more info about
a disciples cross necklace, and I came across your information.

Can you tell me, do you carry the disciples cross? They are 4 horseshoe nails, bent to
make a cross, then wrapped with wire, and laced as
a necklace or keychain.

Please let me know.

Sincerely,

Brian